Wednesday 7 December 2016

Dystopian Opening

Beginning 

This world use to be such a terrible place,you could compare it to hell yes hell.The humans were were not civilised, they were treacherous.The area of were was named the motherland was now called "DeBloodbath".In the a place were living is hard and dying is easy there was 5 teenagers one was extremely weird nobody knew if it was just an ego to scare everybody or it was just normal for them.People made assumptions that he was infected by the new outbreak (which is called malaria) kill without you even knowing but that wasn't the case for Jide and Bapatunde.They were a lovely couple who were on the roll for a baby continuous trying and trying until they succeeded.





2 comments:

  1. There are some issues of punctuation here. For example you need to use full stops in the first line.You have an appropriate dystopian style. Remember to always leave a space after a full stop. Also try to use the grammatical techniques.

    You've used relative clauses, noun phrase.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is really good dystopian writing.I like the main characters Jide and Bapatunde

    ReplyDelete